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Behind the Page: Cortney Davis – “The opportunity to re-imagine the events around my daughter’s death gave me a chance… to find a different ending, one that might bring some peace.”

In August of 2023, we released our fourth Open Call: How might we reimagine healing and transformation with cancer through poetry, art, letters, and stories? This post will share a transcription of an email interview with Cortney Davis, a winner of this open call who’s submission, “Once in a Poem I Wrote,” will be published in Issue 4 of the LIGHT Magazine. A special thank you to Cortney for sharing her LIGHT story with us.

Cortney Davis – Once in a Poem I Wrote

Q: Tell us a little about your submission and why it relates to reimagine healing and transformation with cancer.

A: “My poem, “Once in a Poem I Wrote,” looks back at promises I made to my daughter in various other poems written over the years. But when she was sick and dying at age 54 from breast cancer, I wasn’t able to fulfill all I’d pledged. In this new poem, I re-imagine what it would be like if I’d been able to be with her at her death. Many of us think about what we would like to do when the time comes. But more often we are struck speechless, frozen by grief, and so might be left with regrets. The act of re-imagining may not heal, but it can soothe and be a path to self-forgiveness and understanding.”

Q: Why did you choose this medium (i.e. art, letter, story, poem)?

A: “I didn’t choose to write a poem as much as the language that came to me arrived in a rush of words, a narrative that seemed to slip easily into couplets.”

Q: What motivated you to submit this work to our open call?

A: “I didn’t choose to write a poem as much as the language that came to me arrived in a rush of words, a narrative that seemed to slip easily into couplets.”

Q: What inspired this work?

A: “Initially, I’d written my ideal promises to my daughter in poems created before her death. But reality has a way of changing our plans, of leaving us feeling inadequate, afraid, overwhelmed emotionally and physically. Because I didn’t keep the promises I’d made, I felt the need to write another poem, one that spoke the truth, how what I’d pledged didn’t come to pass.”

Q: What is one word to describe the process of creating your work for this open call, and why did you choose that word?

A: “Opportunity. The opportunity to re-imagine the events around my daughter’s death gave me a chance to confront my hopes and my failures, to look again at the reality of events, to tell the story and finally, in a new poem, to find a different ending, one that might bring some peace.”

Q: Why do you think creativity matters in public health space / in the health fields? 

A: “As a retired nurse practitioner, I know how essential it is that medicine be clinical, scientific and how research and treatment trials dictate patient care–often with little regard for the individual’s unique needs, quirks, history, tolerance, beliefs, experiences and desires. Each patient has a story that is uniquely theirs, a story that can get lost behind medical language and treatments. If practitioners are acquainted with story, fiction, poetry, metaphor and irony, they may better discern the story behind the patient’s words, better intuit a patient’s needs, better care for soul as well as body.”

Q: How does your submission reflect your artistic style or personal voice?

A: “I’m not sure that’s a question I can answer. It might be better answered by someone who has read my poems and is familiar with my work. They may have thoughts about a personal voice or style that I’m not aware of. I try to use sensual imagery (using the senses and the physical) to create a world within a poem–perhaps that’s a style of sorts that leads to a certain “voice.””

Q: What do you hope to achieve or communicate through your work being selected for publication in LIGHT Magazine? What impact or impression, emotions or thoughts, do you intend to make on the audience or viewers with your submission?

A: “I hope my poem will reach others who have stood awkwardly at the bedside of a loved one, not saying what they wanted to say, not asking what they later wished they’d asked, not climbing into bed and holding their loved one, not knowing how to reach through the IV lines or the machines, not sure their loved one could hear them, afraid to do something wrong, simply terrified, finally left with grief, regret and the hollowness of loss. I want to reassure them they are not alone. Some are better at being with the dying than others. Most, even those in the medical field, are simply unprepared for how sacred, how privileged, and how awe-full and how difficult it can be to stay at the deathbed of a loved one.”

Q: How do you envision your piece contributing to healing and transformation of those affected by cancer?

A: “I hope my poem reaches those who will find in the poem some thought, word or image that brings them a moment of recognition or reflection, a line that touches their hearts.”

Q: How do you anticipate your work contributing to the larger context or conversation within the public health community?

A: “My poetry offers insights into my experiences as a nurse who has witnessed the mysteries of suffering and healing. Poetry seems to me to be the perfect place in which we can both hold on to, and let go of, the most transcendent moments–whether joyful or painful–of our lives.”

Q: From your perspective, what is the best way to encourage others to use creativity to disseminate/share health information concerning healthy spaces and places or other public health topics and/or issues? 

A: “Many medical and nursing schools include humanities in their required courses. There are many journals that feature creative writing about aspects of healthcare. One of the best ways to bring awareness might be to encourage individuals to write about their own experiences in healthcare–as patients, as caregivers, as observers–through writing workshops. Individuals who become sensitized, so to speak, to the power of creativity might be more apt to turn their understanding into action in the public square.”

Q: How has LIGHT provided you with a platform or space to express yourself through creativity or process personal experiences?

A: “Through a call for submissions and a theme that sparked an idea, a memory, a connection to my life, a narrative that was then expressed in a poem.”

Issue 2 of the LIGHT Magazine is now available for purchase in our shop!

LIGHT is currently looking for donors and/or sponsors to help us keep our project going. If you are interested in supporting our publication, please email us at info@light4ph.org.


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