In August of 2023, we released our fourth open call: How might we reimagine healing and transformation with cancer through poetry, art, letters, and stories? This post will share a transcription of an email interview with Joel Savishinsky, a winner of this open call, whose submission, “The Coloring Book,” will be published in Issue 4 of the LIGHT Magazine. A special thank you to Joel for sharing his LIGHT story with us.

Joel Savishinsky – The Coloring Book

“I was inspired to write my poem, “The Coloring Book,” by my experiences at several medical facilities while helping one of my sons go through a grueling series of treatments for cancer. The poem, however, is not about him or the successful outcome of his surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation. Rather, the poem concerns another young person I occasionally saw, and the stories about him that I heard, in hospital waiting rooms and lounges: these accounts came from this person’s family members and the medical staff — the people who saw this young man through his struggles with cancer from childhood through mid-adolescence.

Rather than trying to write an “illness narrative” whose details I was not privy to, I focused instead on key moments and episodes in this person’s short life that I was privileged to learn about. The episodic nature of what was shared with me seemed to lend itself best to a poem because of the way poetry can build on moments, vignettes, and phrases to construct a story from critical elements, and select those times and emotions that cut to the heart of a human experience. In this case, it was the dignity, the composure with which a young man faced his own mortality.

One word that came to mind for me during the time I was learning and then writing about this young man, his companions and his caregivers, was “privilege.” I felt (and still feel) privileged to have witnessed what he and those who loved and cared for him went through. Within the context of a medical setting, cancer can sometimes create an unexpected, unsought community: over time, unrelated people come to recognize one another at a facility as they conduct or wait for a treatment to finish; they may share anecdotes, fears, hopes, coping strategies, cups of coffee. There is a fleeting but genuine kind of intimacy in what transpires. So, again, poetry can be a very expressive way to capture and convey the range of experiences that patients and others go through at such times and in such places.

I should note that the events described in this poem happened 25 years ago. At that time, while the idea of putting some of these encounters down on paper occurred to me, I had not written much poetry, and was quite intimidated at the thought of addressing such a fraught subject. I did not have a great deal of confidence in my skill as a writer then, and sensed that the proximity of this story to my own son’s cancer made the project of attempting a poem too reminiscent of a terrifying and uncertain year for my whole family. So, it has taken me a quarter of a century, and an open submission call from LIGHT, to find the courage to find the words.

While only some of us are (or try to be) poets, every one of us has a voice or some related means of expressing how we and those around us are affected by critical illness. This may be with words, images, music, or movement. My poem is a kind of ‘argument’ or encouragement for others to do the same – regardless of whether they choose to use their voice in a private or a public setting. It is healing to at least try to express what we have gone through, or what we feel others are going through, and — when appropriate – share those insights so that others may also learn from and, hopefully, find some healing grace in that knowledge. I am grateful to LIGHT for encouraging me to take the risk of pushing myself, as a writer, to deal with a difficult experience in an expressive and respectful way.”

Issue 2 of the LIGHT Magazine is now available for purchase in our shop!

LIGHT is currently looking for donors and sponsors to help us keep our project going. If you are interested in supporting our publication, please email us at info@light4ph.org.

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